Spring Cleaning and Mental Clearing
The month of May is all about Mindset
Well, hello there friend!
How have you been since our last hang? As for me, I’m typing this with a sprained arm because I have been…rollerskating. I have to admit, when I started, I was just doing it to be cute, but I’m determined to learn. And with learning, anything really, falling is part of the process. Let me tell you, when I fell on that hard wooden plank floor at the roller rink, even with the extra soft cushioning of my ample bum, that s#!@ hurt!
But, guess what, the hurt is healing. The injury isn’t permanent and it taught me that I don’t just need to learn how to skate, I need to learn how to fall. Luckily, there’s a video lesson for that (lots of them actually).
All I have to say is that fear of falling is absolutely not going to stop me from trying something new!
So, with that, let’s get into more of May Mindset Reset shall we?
Spring Cleaning Unproductive Thinking
As I was telling you in my last newsletter, my focus all this month of May is my Mindset, because I’ve realized that it’s what holds me back and it’s also what can propel me forward. So, it’s worth developing and…spring cleaning.
This week, I’ve been working to identify thoughts and beliefs that don’t serve me and aren’t in alignment with the joyous pursuit of my goals. Do you have thoughts like those? Well, there’s no better time to root them out and release!
What’s an example?
As a very simple one, I had a video shoot recently to create some promotional footage for BGMDE that the teams can use to give a bit of background on me as an author and about the book itself. I had an amazing director/videographer, an incredible makeup artist booked, and a location of my dreams in downtown LA that was really reasonably priced. They even gave us a lighting package and everything. I had it all worked out.
Well, at least, I thought I did. Life had other plans.
First, for no reason, I started out running impossibly late to the shoot. Like, late late. This was like, not even LA traffic can excuse this kind of late, and it was my own shoot! On top of that, there was a but-aren’t-we-still-in-a-pandemic-though unbelievable traffic jam that was going to make me in total almost an hour late! And if you’re not familiar with sets and video or photo shoots, the first hour is usually for makeup/hair and if you don’t make it, you’ve lost the hour with your hair stylist or makeup artist. So, I was definitely panicking.
Suddenly, I get a text from my makeup artist that she too was stuck in this same traffic jam heading downtown and that she was running almost as late as I was. Then, a text from my videographer, same thing.
It’s the circumstances that make the news good or bad, and in this case everyone was running late, not just me! It would push our shoot back, but I figured we could make up the time, because we had ordered lights!
Well, wouldn’t you know that getting to the location, what was missing? You guessed it.
The lights weren’t there.
Not only that, but as we started shooting a spontaneous street protest broke out, complete with bullhorn and sirens. And, the shoot time being pushed back meant that the lot I parked in closed about an hour before I realized it.
But, even without the lights (and with the incredible McGuyver level skill of my video director/videographer), even with the noise, and even with the schedule glitching, we got what we needed. In fact, we even got extra time in the space to capture more footage because the owner wanted to make up for the fact that the lights weren’t there.
And something in me had shifted also. In the height of my stress, with all the negative feelings bubbling and the worry at its peak that my shoot was going down in flames, I decided to identify and release the thought (well, really, belief) that was making me feel this way.
The thought/belief was: “Things need to go perfectly in order to get a good result.”
I decided to take a deep breath and to let that thought go.
I replaced it with: “Everything is going to work out just fine, just as it is.”
And I kept repeating it to myself, even though at first I didn’t believe at all that it was true.
But, guess what happened?
My blood pressure dropped. My breathing slowed down. That feeling in the pit of my stomach started to subside. I started cracking a few jokes and laughing at jokes that started to come forth from the rest of the team. All of a sudden, I was smiling, and then, I was having a great time.
And we have bloopers. Lots of them. For your viewing pleasure.
And ultimately, the shoot turned out great as well. See for yourself.
Are you doing your own spring cleaning of thoughts that aren’t serving you? Or do you have any ideas for Mindset May? I’d love to hear from you in the comments!
What’s Inspiring Me.
This week, I’m inspiring myself. Like, actively doing so, as if I’m on a mission. Which, I am. The other day, I stood in front of my bathroom mirror and spoke to myself as I wish I could be spoken to. I gave myself the praise, encouragement, and in moments, real talk that I needed to hear. And it made me smile. And it made me sad a bit too because I realized that I could and should have been doing this all along.
So, I recorded it. I watch it daily. And I’m going to keep making these recordings regularly for myself with the words I need to hear and practice. I don’t know who else needs to hear this, but if it’s for you too, then enjoy. I love you!
What’s My Self-Care Looking Like
This week, my self care has been comprised of four things. One of which is self-affirmation that I just shared above in my video link.
Second, I’m doing long walks and listening to audiobooks about mindset.
Third, I actually meditated for the first time.
Finally, I’m learning to roller skate (and fall safely) and loving it.
What I’m Writing
We’re still in editing for BGMDE 2, which has a new title that I think you’re going to love. I also saw some early versions of the new cover design for BGMDE 2 which I am beyond excited about and can’t wait to unveil!
I’m also working on some op-ed and essay ideas around how to identify and address issues of bias which is a topic I’m extremely passionate about.
Finally, as part of Mindset May, I’ve been working on a short list of affirmations and intentions that I’d like to start practicing to replace my old thinking that I’m ready to release. Of everything I’ve mentioned, this is my most important writing this week and has been a powerful exercise for me.
What I’m Reading
I’m currently “reading” two books, which means listening to them on audiobook.
The Key by Joe Vitale – This book is right on time for me for Mindset May. It’s all about clearing out limiting thought patterns and beliefs that are not serving your intentions. It’s also been helping to identify what those thought patterns and beliefs are because evidently they operate often silently in the background and they can be so ingrained that they’re hard to see and separate from. That said, one thing I do not love or particularly like about the listening experience of this particular author/book is that he does do a near constant upsell of his other books, products and products of others, so it is quite distracting if you’re not completely focused on what you want to get out of it and using an active mental filter. But, what I have been getting out of this book has been completely worth it.
Ask and It is Given by Esther and Jerry Hicks – This book is a classic and I read it a few months ago. This time, listening to it on audio, I heard entirely different things and I had to go back and check to make sure that I’m wasn’t on the wrong edition! It really goes to show that a great book can and should be read more than once because as you grow, you get more out of it.
What I’m Excited About
I’m excited about some really great fiction that’s newly released and soon coming for summer!
My girl Tia Williams has a PHENOMENAL book coming out on 6/1 called Seven Days in June. I had a chance to read an advance copy and I’m so excited for people to have this read in their hands. It is a steamy romance perfect for summer and has all the texture and tension of what real, passionate love feels like. The best kind, when you know you shouldn’t but you can’t help yourself.
Emily Henry has a new NYT Bestseller The People We Meet on Vacation and I’m so happy for her! Emily in the busy lead up to her book release made the time to read my book and to provide an amazing blurb for it. I’m a stan forever!
Zakiya Dalila Harris has one of the most hotly anticipated reads of the summer The Other Black Girl which comes out June 1. I met her over IG and she was so sweet! We might be doing an IG Live together, and I’ll keep you posted!
That’s it for this week! Hope you enjoyed!
xo, Jayne
P.S. - If you know someone who would enjoy this newsletter and should be part of this rapidly growing community, please do them (and all of us) a favor and pass this along!